Snap goes the Hatter!
by Kuchiki-koo
Summary: Break surprises everyone every single day, but will someone get him back? No human mind could beat him at his own game, though. So why is it that a Chain called Alice is so smug? One-shot, first Pandora Hearts fanfic.
1. Trapped!

**This is my first Pandora Hearts fanfic**

**I do not own Pandora Hearts.**

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It was a quiet afternoon at Rainsworth Manor. At least, as quiet as I could get with Raven the Seaweed Head and Stupid Rabbit Alice in the same room. But both Oz and Sharon ignored them, and without Break egging them on, the insults and accusations the two were throwing at eachother were relatively mild.

"Stop acting so smug, stupid rabbit!"

"Unlike you, I actually have a something to look forward to later on!"

"Hah, like what? Emptying the entire house of meat, I suppose?"

"It's better than choking everyone with smoke, seaweed head!"

"Shut up stupid rabbit!"

"I'm not stupid! In fact, I will PROVE that I'm not stupid!"

"How? By finally realizing that Oz trusts me more than you?"

But Alice quiet again, with her smug smile back on her face, looking around the room expectantly. She had been doing this for a while now, and it was unsettling to see her so quiet. Oz gazed at her for a moment, wondering what she had meant. She gave him a look that said 'If you don't want to feel my boot on your back, stop staring at me.' He considered asking Sharon, but he figured that she didn't have a clue what her 'little sister' was thinking either.

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A few hours later, the situation was pretty much the same – with the exception that the sky was darker outside the window.

Oz was silently thinking while his Chain and servant where bickering. _Even though he's creepy and perplexing, this place is a lot duller without him... I wonder when Break will come back._

_Snap! Snap!_

"Ow! Ouch!"

_Snap!_

"Ouchie!"

The series of muffled sounds shocked everyone, making them stop everything they were doing.

Alice then started to chuckle, as a familiar white haired head emerged from under the table where Sharon had been sipping tea.

"I'm back, Milady!" Break said. Alice laughed loudly at his appearance.

Several mouse traps were latched tightly onto his coat, with a few lucky ones that were dangling from his exposed hands. Emily was a pitiful sight, a mouse trap clamping it right down the middle.

Sharon was the first to recover. "Oh my, Break! Please let me help you remove those! Are you injured?"

"Ha ha ha, no Milady. I assume that this is for the meat that I, hm, _specially _prepared for you, am I correct, Miss Alice?" His tone was casual, but lacking a certain lightness to it. Almost as if he was holding back the pain…

"Yes! You have fallen prey to the trap of the powerful B-Rabbit! Think twice before you attempt to put chilli into my food again, clown!" Alice declared.

"Ah, yes. That was a bit cruel of me. You are – Ouch! – victorious for now." The smile Break gave her was strained, as Sharon laboured to remove another mouse trap.

Oz decided that out of all of them, Sharon was the safest one, with her paper fans of doom.

* * *

The next day, Liam Lunette wondered why Xerxes Break was holding his staff so awkwardly, as if he was refraining from using some of his hidden fingers.

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**Please review, if you want to read more, I have continued this story in my story "Rabbits and Hatters". **


	2. An Invitation

**An Invitation**

You walk towards the wooden door, but just as you move a hand to push it open, you decide to eavesdrop first. You aren't usually this cautious, but something nags at the back of your mind…

You press you ear to the closed door and listen. 'I wonder when our guest will arrive.'

The loud munching sound that had filled the dark hallway minutes before suddenly stopped.

'What are you whining about, clown? I have meat and you have sweets. Besides, big sister Sharon's in her "girl mode" and seaweed head's getting all mushy with Oz. Do you really want to head back now?' This voice was that of a young girl.

'Well, I suppose you have a point, Miss Alice. But I would hate to overstay my welcome.' The voice definitely had a sing song quality to it, and strange as it may seem, you swear that it sounds _sugary_…

'Blah. Frosty here was the one who invited us, right?' After the girl had spoken, she went back to munching whatever she had been eating before.

The sugary voice spoke again. 'You should not disrespect the Lady like that, Miss Alice.'

'Ha ha, Xerxes. I see that you are the gentleman, as always. Do not fret about young Sharon Rainsworth; I believe that she is safe. Or do doubt my knowledge?' This new voice was also feminine.

'No, no, Lady Humor. Your knowledge may even best that of Duke Barma's…'

'Do NOT compare me to that girly old creep!' shouted Lady Humor. Seeming to calm down instantly after her outburst, she stated, 'Besides, you will not need to wait much longer, because our guest is already here.'

Upon hearing this, you gingerly push open the door. 'Hello?'

Scanning the room, you see a white haired man sucking a lollipop, a brunette girl devouring meat and a mysterious third figure – wrapped in a light blue hooded cloak, her face covered by a golden veil. They were all seated around a table piled with sweets, cakes and meat.

The cloaked person turns and starts talking. To you. And something in her voice tells you that you are only here to listen.

'You liked "Snap goes the Hatter", didn't you? Do you want to read more? You can, you know.'

You nod, because it seems like an appropriate time for nodding.

'Yes. If you want to know more about the pranks that these two -', here she paused and gestured to Xerxes and Alice, '- will pull to outsmart each other, then go and read "Rabbits and Hatters", another brilliant story by me.'

Alice once again spoke up. 'You done yet, you crazy old hag? You're giving me the creeps.'

'I'm not old and I'm not a hag! But more importantly, I'm not old! All of you are dismissed! You may leave!' Once again, the Lady loses her cool. But much more importantly, she has allowed you to leave. You have taken a mental note that although she denied being old or a hag, she seemed to have accepted being called crazy…

Before leaving, however, Alice blurts one more question on her mind. 'Why did you make us come here, anyway? Couldn't you just talk to that guy alone?'

'Yes, I could. You two were here for my company, after all, waiting alone is _so_ boring!'

Yep, she was definitely crazy. You start walking toward the door from which you entered, which just so happened to be on the other side of the room…

Then, Alice proceeds to pull back a curtain you never really noticed and jump out the window, stating that this way was faster.

After some furious candy consuming, Break also left the table. But instead of exiting _out_ of the room, he crawled under the table. And somehow, you knew that he wasn't around anymore. Which left you with the Lady. Oh, great.

Raising a gloved hand, she waves to you, and pushes a portrait, causing a secret wall to slide back and reveal a…closet?

Unfazed, Lady Humor steps in among the spare cutlery, tablecloths and lollipops and promptly disappears.

As you leave the room, you consider her invitation once more…_read "Rabbits and Hatters'_… You have made up your mind already…

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Yeah, go read Rabbits and Hatters, cuz I'm keepin' this a oneshot, thank you very much.


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